Children (and their mothers)

While reading email, I decided to clear out my “Save” folder (some things have been there since 2008. Shameful) I did stumble upon this, and thought you’d get a giggle:

  1. “Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.” ~ Author Unknown
  2. “Mothers are all slightly insane.” ~ J.D. Salinger
  3. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” ~ Phyllis Diller
  4. “There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.” ~ Chinese Proverb
  5. “It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.” ~ Helen Rowland
  6. “The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” ~ Calvin Trillin
  7. “A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after.” ~ Peter De Vries
  8. “It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.” ~ Phyllis Diller
  9. “All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.” ~ Oscar Wilde
  10. “A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” ~ Tenneva Jordan
  11. “You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back.” ~William D. Tammeus.
  12. “Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.” ~ Author Unknown
  13. “Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.” ~ LisaAlther
  14. “My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn’t have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay.” ~ KareemAbdul-Jabbar
  15. “My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.” ~ Mark Twain
  16. “My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” ~ Buddy Hackett

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